Is it really stalking?
by SignoraSnape
Summary: Let me tell you a story. It is a story that is not for the light-hearted. It is cruel and disturbing. But it is my story and I want to tell it. This story explores Yoonbums thoughts and feelings from the beginning of his stay with Sangwoo. In the beginning I will mostly stick to the original story but as we dive further into the boy s life there will be changes... Mentions of yaoi!
1. Chapter 1

AN: Hello my lovely readers :)  
I had to take this story down due to some editing but now it is up again and hopefully I will manage to update regularly!  
I am looking forward to reading your comments and thoughts. :)

As always I do not own the characters and setting but have just taken them out for some playtime ;)

Let me tell you a story. It is a story that is not for the light-hearted. It is cruel and disturbing. But it is my story and I want to tell it.

My name is Yoonbum and I am a young man. I had a life once outside these walls but it is long gone and it never was a good life. My parents died when I was small and I was brought up by my uncle and granny but that is not important. My life changed when I attended high school because it was then that I first laid eyes on the most beautiful and intriguing person I ever met. He is tall, blonde and everyone likes him. He is quick to smile and friendly with everybody. He never noticed me but I can´t fault him for that because I am a person that is easily ignored. All through high school I admired him from afar and after high school I hoped not to be recruited for military service. You see I am a small and malnourished guy, always have been and will probably always be. But they took me in and I ended up being the guy´s punching bag. Can you guess who helped me? It actually was him. My secret crush managed to safe me when one night when I was about to be raped. He still did not recognize me though and I got out of the military at the first opportunity that was offered. You can probably guess what I did next, or can you? I do not know seeing that I am pretty messed-up. Maybe it would be better if you did not know? Whatever. I intensified my following of him, the perfect man and one day I eventually managed to achieve my dream. I got his pin code right and entered his home. It was awesome! His house is very pretty and tidy and his bed, ugh guys, it smelled so good! Like real good. I lay down and dreamed of him, what he could do to me, and then I heard a sound. Shocked I went to investigate. I had seen him leave the house and I knew that he had no family or flatmate that could be there, so who was in the house with me?! I followed the sound into a closet and there was a trapdoor with a lock on it. I cannot say if it was good that it was unlocked and I could investigate, in my opinion it was but I do not think that others would think like I do. I went down some stairs and it was very dark. I traipsed through the room. It was some kind of basement with many tools laying around. The sound I had heard upstairs was louder here and I went towards it only to come across a woman. Lying there on the floor, in a basement, naked, with shackles and a cloth in her mouth. She did not look happy. I think I was in shock. I had not thought that I would see a woman in the house of my love. I did not want her to be there and neither did she. I reached towards her. I wanted to know what she thought she was doing but everything went black.


	2. Chapter 2

And here we go - the next chapter for all of you! And this time I had my lovely beta look it over :) 

When I came back around I too was in the basement lying on the floor. I did not appreciate the cold at my back but I could see my favorite person in the world standing before me. He was there, looking at me for the first time in my life. He had a baseball bat in his hand. I really do not know why he thought he had to hit me. I was there for him, I was not some stranger that entered his house, or was I? He did not look happy and then he asked me what I was doing in his house. He was talking to me. Finally! I could die happy now. Though I really was afraid of the bat, my head still hurt. He was so strong. He took the bat of his shoulder taking a step towards me and I remembered that he had asked me a question. I told him everything, me swooning all over him in high school, him saving me during military service, following him around to learn his patterns and finally entering his house and being annoyed at finding a woman in my place. With every word that left my mouth his grin got bigger. I think he liked me already. And when he said that there was not enough space for two people in his basement I really did not see a problem, he could take me upstairs and leave her down here. I wanted to be with him, my perfect Sangwoo, I would gladly stay with him. But when I followed him upstairs he just looked at me with his wonderful, sparkly eyes and told me that he would not let me up with my legs the way they were. I was really unhappy. I did not know how to change my legs, my disgustingly thin legs that really were not very pretty. I was still thinking about a way to make them more appealing when suddenly I flew through the air. He had shoved me back down into the basement. My leg hurt and I fell unconscious, again, shortly after.


	3. Chapter 3

Is it really stalking III

When I came to I was again lying on the cold floor. At the time I really could not understand why Sangwoo had me down there, nor did I understand being shackled. I was actually pretty scared at that moment. Obviously he had not understood that I loved him! He seemed to think that I was trespassing to rat him out to the police. And with me on the floor, naked, freezing and shackled I was tempted to run and tell on him. But if I did that I would never get the chance to have him love me and that was just not an option for me. I heard stomping overhead and turning around I looked into the eyes of the woman from earlier. The very dead eyes of her. If I remember correctly I screamed pretty loudly because the next thing I remember is Sangwoo coming down the stairs telling me that she was the daughter of some CEO and that she had screamed for my help while I was out of it. I think it is his idea of being funny, telling me that others do the same things as me, screaming and begging like me but nothing happens, there is no help coming. The only difference between her screaming and mine was that I did not want her help but that I was startled finding a dead body lying next to me. Next problem: I moved. You might remember it better than I did in that moment but I had totally forgotten my fall and when I moved I felt what I had not understood previously. My leg was not like it had been. It was broken at the ankle, I could not make myself look at it but it felt as if I had severe bruising and it was quite possible that the bones were misaligned. I really feared seeing my bones sticking out of my leg so I did not even take a glimpse. Luckily Sangwoo continued talking and it took most of my mind to concentrate on him. He was talking to the dead girl. It was kinda strange but I understood him. It was like me when I had talked to Sangwoo even though he was not with me. He told her, or maybe he told me, that it was her own fault he had had to hurt her. And while he fondled her he started looking me over, analysing me. I imagine he was confused by his decision not to kill me, seeing that I was basically the quintessence of everything he hates. I was weak, unemployed, homosexual and had an abusive family background. Good thing he had only ever killed one man and I was not him. Also I was slim and he seemed to think of me as quite similar to a girl. And he only ever kidnapped girls. In these days it was probably my appearance that saved my life.


	4. Chapter 4

Is it really stalking IV

Welcome back my lovely readers! Have fun with the new chapter and please R&R!

My thanks goes to my beta who does a wonderful job sorting out my writing so that you guys can understand the gibberish that I come up with :D

He continued talking with me. At last I had his attention but it was not the kind I had always wanted. I wanted his love, his passion, or if I am totally honest I would have been satisfied with being his friend or even being acknowledged by him. But we obviously do not always get what we want. There was anger and frustration in his eyes and I was not looking forward for whatever he planned on doing. I mean, I was in chains in a basement. I have no family to speak of, no friends and no employer who would notice me missing. I was a loner and my life was basically non-existent seeing that everything I did was somehow connected to Sangwoo. I did not have a social life at that time, well I do not have one now either but that is beside the point. What I am trying to say is that I was at his mercy. Sangwoo turned away and when he returned he had a can with him. I was afraid of what he would do with it. It was porridge in the can, which he wanted to feed me. I calmed down. He would not feed me if he did not like me, would he? I was happy again. My feelings were taking me on a rollercoaster ride that day, happiness was followed by angst and terror, then love and again happiness. It was a little much for my pain addled mind. I opened my mouth for the porridge. It was cold, slimy and disgusting but Sangwoo really did not seem to like me declining his food. It was something that I would learn over my time with him. If he gave me food I had to eat no matter what. But I did not know that and therefore got the contents of the can dripped into my face, it was not better than eating it I tell you. Especially seeing that Sangwoo was angry again and then. Then he kissed me, on the mouth. I had never been kissed before and it confused me that he kissed me. Just a second ago he told me I had beat the girl in surviving which I understood as a threat and now he was handling me like a lover, a boyfriend, the person I had always wanted to be. It was glorious! I have told you that I was a disgusting and ugly person and still he kissed me while porridge was dripping down my face. I felt feelings I had never felt before but suddenly he stopped kissing me. Why did he stop? I did not want him to stop so I tried to hold him to me with the leg that was hurting less. He was not pleased with me moving the leg because he thought that it was hurt. I really did not know that I had to tell him if my body was not hurt. It was a steep learning curve with my love. He got up and now held one of his heavy hammers in hand. He was going to break my second leg. He told me this and put his foot calmly on my leg, he was relaxed and determined. I knew he would hurt me no matter what I would say but still I tried reasoning with him. I already had one hurting leg that did not look healthy and I really did not want to experience the pain that two broken legs would bring with them. I cried and begged him with all I had but in the end it made no difference and he shattered my bones. It hurt worse than my earlier fall. Maybe because I was waiting for the pain and my brain did not shut down, I stayed conscious and I really did not want to. It hurt so much. But then Sangwoo went and got me bandages. He bandaged me up, explaining why he had to do it. I was once again sitting in front of the man I loved. His friendly and loving persona was back and I was happy. His arguments were very good and slowly I understood why he had hurt me. And I am still happy that he did because if he had not then I would never have been with him and I would never had his love which I am still obsessing about.


	5. Chapter 5

Is it really stalking V

Hello again I hope until now you all had a wonderful time reading my take on Yoon Bum´s "imprisonment."

As always please read and if you do not mind please review because I love feedback (as long as it is constructive! Please no flames.)

And of course thanks again to my wonderful Beta who manages to get me out of tricky situations!

Again he had left me in the dark basement. I was lying there groaning in pain when I was not asleep. My legs hurt so bad that I thought they would never heal and he left me alone. If you did not know, I really do not like being by myself. Every day Sangwoo came down for some time but it was never enough for me. He was near me but I could never reach him and that hurt more than my legs. He even got me painkillers because, as he explained to me, I was complaining too much and he did not want to hear my bitching every time he came down to train. I really was bitching the perfect amount for someone with broken legs and a love for the person hurting them. Whenever he came downstairs he would do crunches and sit-ups, as well as press-ups (A.N. I think it is push-ups in AE) and so many more things that I do not even know what they are called. He was really fit and his training showed in his perfect body. And I could watch him while he trained. It was glorious! Sometimes he would talk with me and his words and the sound of his voice would help me get through the darkness that I was left in when he left again. Sometimes he came and was my much loved Sangwoo, at other times he was moody and I was afraid of him. A week after the incident with the porridge he came down and was in a really bad mood. My legs were hurting more that day, I think it had gotten colder, and I was groaning more than usual because of it. I will just say that Sangwoo did not like it at all. He threw the painkillers at me, telling me to shut up and let him train in peace. I took some pills but they do not work that fast and the next second he was turning me around so I was looking at him. He does not like it when I do not look at him while he speaks, just so you know. He had the top of a porridge tin in hand and complained that I did not have any fat. It was my fault that he would miss out on a lot of fun while cutting me. And then he cut me, right at my collarbone. It hurt so much! He was punishing me for annoying him. That is what I love about him. He never punishes me without reason and he always has really good reasons! I was not good that day. I could not stand the fear of him cutting my throat and lost control of my bladder. I am so ashamed to tell you, but when it happened I was standing beside myself with fear and did not acknowledge that anything had happened until Sangwoo had heaved me up the stairs and into the bathroom where he had me sit down. The water pressure and icy temperature got me out of my stupor as I tried to save my face from being smashed in. He put soap into my hair and had me wash it. My arms were heavy because I had used them so little over the past week and the task was more difficult than it should have been. But when Sangwoo told me to hurry up so I could go back it shocked me out of my accepting state. I grabbed for his hands and actually managed to take his hand which he took away again so I just clung to one of his legs. I did not want to go back down and I told him as much. I told him I would do everything as long as I would be allowed to stay upstairs. I had never thought that a person can get so desperate for sunlight and fresh air as I was at that time. I meant it when I said everything, he could have broken both of my arms if he had wanted to and I would have let him only for the promise of not going back down. Sangwoo did not like me touching him and so he left me alone to clean myself up. He told me that a basement had to be dark, otherwise it would not be a basement. I still do not know if he thought I was being dumb or if it was meant as a joke but at the time I was only afraid that it meant that I had to go back down. I absolutely did not want to stay down there any longer!


	6. Chapter 6

AN: Hello everyone. I am happy to see that there are actually people reading this It is my first ever multi-chapter story and I am still a little insecure… On that note please leave a review! It would make my day to read your thoughts!

This chapter is sadly not beta read seeing that she is suffering under an enormous workload for university. I tried my best at proofreading it myself but if you find anything please let me know and I will correct it!

And now…on with the chapter

I scrubbed at my hair as hard and fast as I could but I still felt dirty when Sangwoo came back. He took the hose and started washing the suds out of my tresses. The soap was running down my face and I could not decide whether to close my eyes to avoid the soap or to leave them open and watch him. The decision was taken out of my hands because he finished with it very fast. My hair is not really short so it usually takes a while to get it washed but he did not care for that. He towelled it dry and gave me a fresh shirt. It was striped and I hastily put it on so as not to get him angry again. It was short on me but I did not complain. He had me take of my underwear and then he put my feet through some black fabric. Intertwining my hands behind his neck he stood me up and dressed me in what I could see was a black skirt. A skirt! Setting me down again he told me I looked like a cheap whore. It hurt me. It still hurts me remembering it. I loved him and all he thought of me was something as disgusting as a prostitute. I had never been a prideful person and I knew that I was not pretty but I had never thought I could look as if I was buyable. He told me to stay and left the bathroom. It was not as if I could have gone anywhere, I was still shocked by the belittlement and my legs were hurting as always. I looked around myself. I was sitting in front of the bathroom in a hallway. I could see a staircase and behind it there was a door, quite possibly it was the front door. It looked familiar so I had to have been in this part of the house when I first came here. I do not really remember the entrance I was just so glad that the police had not recognized me as a trespasser! The only thing I clearly remember is my love´s bed. The comfortable mattress and cushions smelling of him. Sangwoo returned laughing at me. He thought I was stupid because I had not crawled out the door where there were people that could have helped me get away from him. I knew he was making fun of me. He would have never had let me go and I did not want to leave him. I never wanted to leave him but he still did not understand that. We made a deal that day. He drew a line with one of his knifes. I was terrified by it. I really do not understand his fascination with knifes. I do not think that it is healthy but who am I to judge? He told me that I was not allowed to go any further than the beginning of the staircase and that if I did there would be consequences. And because my love always prepares me for whatever could happen he showed me what he would do if I broke the rule. He took this huge knife and sliced into the underside of my chin. It hurt but as he said I could not see it when looking in the mirror. It was still hurting me and it bled pretty much. I must have lost a lot of blood in the beginning of my life with my love.


	7. Chapter 7

Hello everyone

Another chapter coming your way, though I struggled with it and am not really happy with it I thought I would put it out there. Maybe you could shoot me a quick review if you have an idea how to improve it? I would appreciate it!

This one was beta read by one of my flatmates who does not like cruelty in her fiction, therefore I want to thank her all the more!

And now on with the story.

Don´t forget to R&R 3

Is it really stalking VII

Sangwoo had put a band aid on the cut. He did not like the blood dripping onto his floors nor my sniffles. He wanted me to smile. Constantly. I was not used to going around looking happy. Do you know a person who does not smile a lot? I think everyone knows someone like that. I hardly ever smiled. My childhood was not a happy one and I remained a tranquil and isolated person. I had no reason to go around with a smile on my face. I am not that person anymore. Sangwoo did not like me looking frightened, he did not like my trembling and my tears so he told me I had to smile if I wanted to live. I got used to it but in the beginning it was really difficult for me! He always told me to smile and obviously I obeyed him. I wanted to be someone he could love so I did what I was told and most of the time he was happy with me. He said it made him feel superior. I did not care. I was so happy when one day he took my hand and leaned his cheek into it, he stayed like that for some time and then told me he loved me. In that moment I was the happiest person in the universe! I was not the happiest person for long because when I told him I loved him he turned me down instantly. I do not remember why I told him I loved him, I know in that moment I was confused at what I had just done but it was the truth and it felt right saying it. However, Sangwoo was not amused. He had been remembering his mother and I think he felt insulted that I had reacted in a way he wanted his mother to. My face was burning. I was mortified at what I had just said and I could not imagine how he would react. In the end it was not as bad as I had expected. Though I still do not like "being the mom" it at least gave me something to do. He dragged me into the kitchen and sat me at the counter. Then he handed me his knife. The big knife he had just used to hurt me was now in my hands so that I could prepare dinner. From that day on he would take me upstairs to do the dishes or slice the vegetables he needed for dinner. I always knew when he was home. I could hear the music in my basement before he came to fetch me, carrying me up the stairs and letting me crawl after him the rest of the way. I always stayed put not wanting to have his wrath coming down on me. I got used to his temper and started to distinguish between good and bad days, though I was not always right it got me out of precarious situations often enough. I cleaned and cooked and at the end of the day he let me eat with him, or better said in the same room as him. He was sitting on his chair eating at the dining table while I was kneeling on the floor in front of a small table that had seen better days only eating what he gave me, not looking up, not speaking other than to say thank you. The tension was palpable whenever we were in the same room, what do I say, whenever I was upstairs. I was the mouse just waiting for the cat to strike, and Sangwoo was a very observant cat.

Killing stalking VIII

When I attended High School I took part in a psychology club for a year and while most topics had not interested me at all we also talked about trained behaviour. Now that was interesting. The possibility to train other people to behave in ways they did not want to behave, to make them into the perfect friend or soldier intrigued me. Not that I ever wanted to retrain anyone but the possibility was so horrifying that it was fascinating. From my position today I can guarantee you that it is possible to train people. Sangwoo did amazingly well training me how he wanted me to be. He knew when and how to punish me, he knew that I would do everything to evade a beating or to hear him praise me and he used that knowledge to the extreme. I feared my own shadow, behind every corner I could find something I was not supposed to have seen, everything I held in my hands could break. He did not like me breaking things. Once, after dinner I was cleaning the dishes and one of the wet plates slipped out of my hands and on top of another. He did not even have to say anything for me to know that I had fucked up, his discontent was evident in the look on his face. Before I could even contemplate the pros and cons of an apology he has already gotten up, moved around the table and pushed me and my chair into the cabinets. It hurt. It always hurt when I messed up. He grabbed my hair and heaved me from my chair to the floor. Then he proceeded to smashing my brains in. I did not try and defend myself, it did me no good defying him. When he felt I had been sufficiently punished he made me clean up my own blood.


End file.
